Sex

Romance and intimacy is a universal requirement. Here are some things to consider in your relationships.

We are all sexual beings from birth until death.

Sexual desire does not necessarily diminish with age. In fact, sexual activity between couples may increase in later years, when the pressures of career and young families let up and when they may feel mentally and physically more relaxed.

Don't forget, though, that bacteria and viruses are no respecters of age! Although contraception may no longer be needed, the risk of sexually transmissible infections remains. Safe sex practices need to be used, especially with new partners.

There can be practical barriers to overcome so you can continue intimacy in older age. These can include:

• Expectations of decline in activity becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy
• Partner loss through bereavement or separation
• Effects of disability, illness, surgery or medication
• Feelings about body image and society’s view of attractiveness
• Effects of grief or depression
• Effect of stereotypes or disapproval by family, culture, religion
• Assumptions by family or caregivers limiting opportunities

 
Doctors are experienced in discussing and treating sexual issues such as these. Your GP is a good person to start with, or s/he can refer you to counsellors or specialists if you want.

Increasing numbers of openly gay men and women are now entering later life, some with long-term partners, and attitudes and support services are changing to reflect this.

Residential care

You have the right to maintain an interest in sexual expression with a consenting partner in a residential care setting.

The attitudes of staff are important to ensure sexuality does not become a matter of contention or embarrassment. Ask to see policies relating to sexual health, relationships and privacy. Ensuring space for privacy and uninterrupted time alone is important in residential care.

Older people living in residential care can miss out on physical affection. The need for intimacy includes the need for loving or therapeutic touch and older people in institutions can miss this. Touch is an important way of acknowledging they are a person whose needs are valued.

Resources

> VISIT Family Planning Association's website, or request their brochure: Lifelong Sexuality – Sexual Health for the Over 60s

> VISIT Relationship Services for support, information and counselling services for people of all ages who are seeking advice on any aspect of relationships. Contact details of your nearest office are listed in the telephone directory.

> VISIT Age Concern England has a whole area dedicated to content for older lesbians, gay men and bisexuals.

> DOWNLOAD Age Concern England's Opening Doors - working with the older LGBT community resource pack [PDF file]