"He virtually dragged me down to nothing"

Anita MacKay says when she was finally able to have her 46-year-old son removed from her home, she only had $38 left to her name.

The 74-year-old Dunedin woman says she experienced the pain and frustration of financial abuse when, after she had undergone two operations, her son decided to move back home to care for her.

Soon after he moved in, he left his job and only sporadically contributed $100 in board to help her cover expenses, but expected her to pay for petrol when he drove her to the supermarket, and for his personal toiletries, she said.

Despite her protestations, she said he refused to leave and lived off of her for nearly two years.

"He was just ripping me off. He virtually dragged me down to nothing," she said.

It was not until she went to the doctor and was told she had high blood pressure that she finally got help, she says.

Her doctor wrote to Age Concern Otago and last month elder abuse and neglect prevention co-ordinator Marie Bennett became involved.

Mrs Bennett talked to the son and he moved out three days later.

"Once Marie came in, he was gone. I'm far more relaxed now," Mrs MacKay said.

For others in the same situation, she recommended involving an agency like Age Concern.

"I told him several times I wanted to get rid of him. I found it worked better with an outsider," she said.

Unfortunately, stories like Mrs MacKay's were becoming more common, Mrs Bennett said.

She had noticed sons living off their mothers had become a "key trend" in the area of elder abuse.

Following a job loss or relationship breakdown, these men moved back home with their mothers and "won't pay their way".

Abusing their mothers did not seem to be the original intent, but they began relying on their mother's pension and often refused to help with household costs.

Along with financial exploitation, other forms of elder abuse included psychological and physical abuse, with the number of cases growing each year.

Between November 2009 and November 2010, 71 referrals had been made to Age Concern Otago, an increase of 50%, Mrs Bennett said.

She believed the perceived rise in elder abuse was because of a growing awareness of the problem rather than an increase in actual cases as the issue had always existed.

As a result of this awareness, more elderly people were self-referring for assistance, something which never would have happened 10 years ago, she said.

Most abuse is inflicted by family members - 80% - but those in positions of power and likely to be trusted by an older person, such as lawyers, doctors and other professionals, could also be perpetrators.

Family violence encompassed everyone and the abuse of elders, while frequent, was often not considered by the general public, she said.

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AGE CONCERN OTAGO
• 71 referrals between November 2009 and November 2010.
• 23% are self referrals.
• 41% of abuse is financial.
• 24% is psychological.
• 6% is physical.
• 80% of abusers are family members.